


A Letter To The Universe

by thelonelywriter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Existential Angst, Existentialism, Gen, Happy Ending, Letters, Light Angst, Prose Poem, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 08:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12251100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonelywriter/pseuds/thelonelywriter
Summary: There’s beauty dripping inside and out, there’s purpose and reason in life.It took me so long to realize this, so I owe you an apology.I’m sorry that I spent a lifetime away from you.I’m sorry I spent a lifetime away from myself.





	A Letter To The Universe

**Author's Note:**

> not many of ya'll read my original works which i totally understand but i just wanted to put this out there so ya

A Letter To The Universe

I spent a lot of years hating you. I spent time crying over the cards I had been dealt and the way the world worked. I spent empty days looking out windows of cars or houses, wishing that something would change. I looked at the sky and the stars and the moon and I bathed in sunsets and wondered if sorrow was permanent. At that point in my life, I was sure that it was either permanent, or that I wasn’t going to be around to feel it for much longer. And sometimes, it didn’t even feel like sorrow. Sometimes it felt like numbness, sometimes it felt like the world was falling softly and slowly, dissolving like sugar on the tongue and I was in the middle of it watching corners of the universe fade into gray. 

It feels like I’ve spent a lifetime hating you. I believe I may have, even though my lifetime isn’t up yet.

Things changed maybe a year ago. Things were bad a year ago, but towards the end of the year they got better. And I remember there was this one specific day where I was in the car, parked, and I was looking out the window and watching a robin on the ground. I was watching its chest rise and fall. I was watching it breathe. In the wind, I saw the trees breathing with it, I saw the sky sighing. And I had this moment in time where everything had changed.

Gray days didn’t go away, but a blackness faded. I had spent so long wondering why the hell I was even still alive. But, in that moment it was like the breeze was sending me a letter that maybe life wasn’t supposed to be treated like that. Life was and is supposed to be cradled in kind arms.

I spent years trying to find the truth, and I’m still not sure I have. But I’ve found something. I’ve found a way to breathe in this world and I’ve found a fondness that didn’t exist before. I’ve found a euphoria in life, I’ve found reason. Purpose is hazy but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. I’ll find something like it one day, and until then I can bathe in sunsets and laugh at the stars. I can cradle my own life in my own hands and understand that there is enough beauty in the world to bring one to tears. There’s beauty dripping inside and out, there’s purpose and reason in life. 

It took me so long to realize this, so I owe you an apology.

I’m sorry that I spent a lifetime away from you.

I’m sorry I spent a lifetime away from myself.

I’ve learned something important.

I haven’t yet learned to love myself like I want to, and I haven’t learned my purpose, but I know that here there are endless things to learn and you can never learn enough.

I’ve learned, however, that my life is not disposable.

I’ve learned that loving my existence is important.

I’ve learned that loving you is important.

Yours Truly,  
Anonymous

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly just appreciate if you read this, so if you did a million thank you's to you <3


End file.
